4 minute read

Become a kid again and make a stand against stuttering.

As a young Hille, 3, 4 years old, I was the most confident kid on the block. I had this godlike long, curly blond hair, shiny blue boots and the smoothest talk.

I took those three quality features everywhere I went. I was constantly out there, on the streets, having my own little adventures. Exploring the world.

Dropping by the neighbors, making small talk and getting some candy.

Meeting new people, walking up to kids I didn’t know, introducing myself, becoming friends, making fun, play.

Doing errands, buying bread, now imagine a 4 year old getting tobacco for his father in a store!

You could say I was born very skilled in the art of speaking and being social. I was born adventurous and afraid of nothing. No preconceived ideas about anything and anyone. I was literally one with the world.

But, this is not just me. I fully believe, with all my heart, that we are all born very similar to this.

Our mother (mother of three boys and teacher of year 1 in primary school) says you can see that oneness with the world when kids come to school for the first time. (And yes, after that it gets less and less and less).

When we are born, our voices are strong and loud, we are fully expressing ourselves in the purest form.

But at some point we grow up and start stuttering.

And to make a long story short: we stop being the pure expression of ourselves. We stop being adventurous, we stop being unafraid and we lose our natural confidence.

And because of the things we experience we build shields around us, emotional and physical.

As a kid I have been bullied, getting my face rubbed in snow by a group of 12 year olds. I was 5 years myself. I went to the bakery to buy bread ,when an old man, in the middle of my huge stutter block, suddenly said: “who sends his kid to the bakery like this?”.

WTF!..

You’re damn right when you think that such experiences shut you down. You stop acting the way you want because it gets you hurt.

You shut yourself off from the world. You do it because you’re defending yourself from negative experiences. But you also shut yourself off from positive experiences. Nothing comes in, meaning that you stopped learning.

You stopped learning right after you had one too many negative experiences. You stopped learning and what are the only things you can remember? The negativity.

We become anxious, we become shy, we become mean, we become paranoid, we become depressed, we become a version of ourselves that is completely lost with a negative view on the world.

A year ago, when my father told me about how I was as a kid, I slowly started to remember. He told me about my personality while showing the picture I showed you.

At that moment I realized that I haven’t been who I really am for 20 f*cking years. And yes, I blame stuttering for it. And yes I was f*cking happy to have taken that stand against stuttering and removing it out of my life. For me, acceptance was no option.

Here’s a message to you:

Don’t ever forget who you truly are: expressive, adventurous, unafraid, eager to learn.

Ever seen babies trying to walk. They get up, they fall, they get up, they fall, until they can do it. When we’re grown up we tend to stop after the first failed attempt. What is our problem?

Where’s that childlike spirit????

Don’t ever forget who you truly are.

You stopped learning at some point, now start learning again.

Open your eyes, throw away your expectations and just observe.

Look a baby into its eyes and you’ll see it doesn’t blink. It just stares right into your soul, absorbing the moment, learning, observing, no assumptions, no expectations.

Strip yourself from your expectations, your ideas and your defense mechanisms. Open up to the world, because the world loves you.

Be childlike, take a stand against stuttering, stand back up when you fall, learn and overcome.

Hille

P.S.

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SD

How To Stop Your Stutter From Influencing Your Life

Back with a question from one of our viewers!

This week it’s all about stopping your stutter from influencing your life. How to stop your stutter from bossing you around.

Have a question about stuttering yourself? Comment down below or e-mail us at info@brocabrothers.com!

2 minute read

Stutter Gene: Predisposition is Not Predestined

Stuttering and Genes

There’s a myth that has spread like wildfire the past decades which influenced the thinking of a lot of people, and also that of the people who stutter. It actually still does.

It’s the myth that our genes control us.

Most PWS have a predisposition towards stuttering. It might run in the family and therefore it is considered to be in the genes. A stutter gene.

That’s a fair assumption.

A not so fair assumption is that “my father and his brother have it, now I have too it and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

We place ourselves in the position of the victim when we believe that genes control us.

We become irresponsible. Why do something about it when we have no control over it? Why should we care? A mindset many people carry around. Thinking they’re stuck with stuttering for the rest of their lives, because it´s something they´re born with!

This obviously is ridiculous and also dangerous. It’s not as if accepting the gene myth makes you unreactive to the way you feel about stuttering. The hurt is still there. And maybe even more so, the feeling of not controlling your life’s outcome might just be the most paralyzing, and even depressing, thing there is.

Are we in control of our stutter?

Newer research shows that it’s not our genes that control us, but that it’s our mind.

The environment, and especially our interpretation of it, controls our genes. It’s the way we think that controls us.

the stutter trigger

Stuttering needs a trigger. You’re probably very fluent when you’re all by yourself. You interpret the situation as safe, no trigger. When you’re with your boss you interpret it as unsafe, that’s a trigger.

Notice how your thoughts and feelings change from situation to situation that influences your speech. That has nothing to do with stuttering anymore and everything to do with how you interpret a situation.

How you perceive a situation can be a trigger for your stuttering.

If you want to change your stutter…

Obviously it is a little more complicated than that. But play with the thought of having to change your thinking in order to overcome stuttering and become more fluent.

Remember this:

If you want to change your stutter, you have to change the way you look at it.

You are in control, not your stutter gene.

You are the master of your life, not a victim of it.

Hille

P.S.

We’re doing something super exciting within our Broca Brothers Community. Yesterday we sent out the first two videos (of six) about The Truth About Stuttering. In six videos we’ll explain to you the process of becoming a (more) fluent speaker.

Talking you through it in detail!

We’re telling the Community everything we learned the past three years of figuring out how to overcome our own stutter. Doing crazy amounts of research.

If you want to get in on this action, you should think about joining the rest. You do so by clicking here.

Next email will be on Monday and you’ll be brought up to speed!

See you on the inside.

3 minute read

Become hungry for the future

We all do it

Constantly looking back on past experiences

Predicting our future by those standards

Collecting every negative thought just to project it on a situation we’re moving towards in the future

Why are we doing this?

It’s because we’re desperately trying to make sense of a future full of doubts

We try to put logic to it so we can feel safe, so we get a sense of what’s coming

We don’t like uncertainty because we already have too much of that in our lives

Stuttering, to name one…

When will I block, when will I stutter, what will people think of me when I do, how should I say this, I don’t think I can say that…

Full of doubts

You have to come to terms with the fact that both life and future are uncertain

It’s in the uncertainty where you will find life

Projecting the past onto the future will make you blind for its opportunities

Blind for positivity

Blind and unable to find life

You have to become hungry for the future

Hungry for the uncertainty and doubts

Walking right in it without being biased by the past

Assume nothing and let the situation come as it is

Breathe

And just observe

No more resistance to what is

Feel the moment and go with it

Start viewing the future as blank canvases waiting to be colored in

But they can only be colored in at that particular moment in time, you cannot do it now

You have to wait, patiently

Don’t get distracted

Forget the past

And become free

Become hungry for the future

And live

Keep at it fellow Broca Brothers and Sisters

Hille

P.S.

Check out our free e-book on overcoming stuttering here.

3 minute read

Stuttering: 8 DO´s to overcome it at home

 

Overcoming stuttering, fixing your stutter, becoming more fluent, whatever you prefer. They all have something in common: you can do it at home.

Everything is available on the internet for you to overcome your stutter, why wait?

Here are some valuable tips you can apply at home, or wherever you are, to get yourself going in this process.

Let’s start!

  1. Breathe

Yes. Breathing! Deep breathing especially will get you relaxed, comfortable in every situation and gives you more confidence. Try it now, feel how good it feels to take a nice deep breath. Try to remind yourself daily to really breathe properly, we often seem to forget!

  1. Read out loud

We’ve said it before and we’re going to say it again: read out loud.

Use it as a warming up tool in the morning. Be sure to really feel how it feels to be fluent, get in the flow, enjoy it and learn to copy it. Practice makes perfect, always. Get a steady rhythm going, start out your words softly and prolong them.

  1. Stretch!

Here’s what I read in a book and I like it:

“Obstructions to breathing create anxiety. A similar set of muscular tensions located in the diaphragm and about the waist can effectively obstruct breathing by limiting the movement of the diaphragm. The diaphragm is the main respiratory muscle, and its action is very much subject to emotional stress. It reacts to situations of fear by contracting. If the contraction becomes chronic, a predisposition to anxiety is created.”

Find a way to stretch your muscles and definitely your diaphragm. Nobody ever really tells you this, but your body and especially your diaphragm is under constant tension from years and years of stuttering! Fix it.

You’ll be better at breathing and, as you can tell, you’ll lower your predispostion to anxiety!

  1. Assert yourself

Fix your body language. Walk upright, look people in the eye when you talk to them, speak up don’t be shy. Asserting yourself might be that one push, that one extra step you need to break out of your shell and break out of stuttering.

Speak up. Exaggerate, might feel a little awkward at first but hey, you’re not used to it so that’s OK. Wait till it becomes normal and you’ll love the assertive you.

  1. Talk

Talk, talk , talk and talk. You have to talk a lot. Again, practice makes perfect. And don’t just talk obviously. Become aware of what’s going on in your thoughts and body when you’re speaking.

What happens when you’re fluent, what is your behavior, what are your thoughts at those moments.

The same goes for when you’re not fluent. What’s going on, why, what are you doing differently? This might just be the most important thing you can do for yourself, at home, for free, the whole day long!

Even if you’re not talking. Ask yourself why you are not talking, how that makes you feel, do you want to talk but are you scared to? Why, which thoughts come up, where’s the tension in the body?

It’s so easy, you can do this all by yourself, no help needed and you can fix so many things about your confidence and stuttering.

Go at it.

  1. Read

Read books, broaden your view of the world. Read psychology, ready about stuttering, find out what it truly is. People are waiting for others to tell them how things work, but why aren’t they researching for themselves?

It’s probably even better to do it yourself because then you’ll find the story’s that resonate with you. You are going to find out what works for you.

Get started. Read our blogs, obviously.

  1. Listen

Listen to motivating people, they’re all over the internet.

Elliott Hulse is a boss, Anthony Robbins is a boss, Gary Vaynerchuk is a boss, Tim Ferriss is a boss, our videos are boss. See, all that opportunity!

Find people that you resonate with and that get you going. Start off your day with awesome positive talks and see what happens!

Do your damn research. Don’t be lazy!

  1. Set goals

How many times do we have to say this: set goals, damnit!

What are your goals? We’re super interested, don’t be a stranger and let us know below in the comments! We’d like to see what you all are up to.

Talk soon!

Hille

Download our 10 Rules For Overcoming Stuttering HERE

2 minute read

Why you should try to Overcome your Stutter

One of the big questions in the stutter community is whether it is possible to overcome our stutter. Should we look for ways to overcome it or should we just accept our fate and try to ‘’manage’’ it?

At Broca Brothers we know that it is possible to overcome stuttering and regain fluency. We’ve been there and done that, and now we want to help every person who stutters achieve the same.

Here’s why.

There’s more to it than fluency

Overcoming stuttering is not about learning a simple technique and be done with it. There’s more to it. This doesn’t mean that the process of becoming more fluent has to take years. We achieved a crazy amount of fluency in just a matter of months.

But there’s more to overcoming stuttering than just a couple of days of therapy. Overcoming stuttering should be seen as a journey. A journey of reclaiming a part of yourself. Reclaiming the fluency that has always been inside of you.

The best thing of all this is that this journey doesn’t just lead to more fluency.

When Hille and me committed ourselves to the process of becoming fluent speakers, we didn’t just become more fluent. We became more expressive. In words and deeds. We developed courage. Perseverance. Discipline. We started living according to our values. Living the life that we want to. We started Broca Brothers.

If you set out on this journey, not only will you become a fluent speaker. You will discover and learn things about yourself and the world around you that you never deemed possible.

Offer your gift to the world

You will reclaim a part of your true self. You will become a better and stronger version of yourself. And when you come back from your journey, packed with fluency, experience and purpose, you will be ready to offer your gift to the world. And that’s what overcoming stuttering is about.

The end goal is not to make the words come out more fluent. The end goal is to grow as a person and as a result being able to help other people grow as well.

It’s called the Hero’s journey. Click here to read Hille’s article about it.

The fluency has always been inside of you. It’s up to you to reclaim it. And when you do, you will come back stronger than ever. Not only more fluent, but more expressive. More assertive, more grounded, more loving. Ready to donate your gift of experience to the world around you. That gift can be anything. It can be you being more positive and fun to the people around you. It can be you being more creative in the workspace. It can be you being a better partner, father, mother, brother or sister.

It lead us to starting Broca Brothers. Inspiring and helping every person who stutters around the world on their journey of becoming a fluent speaker. And it might just turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

If you’re unsure where to start out on your journey, you will want to receive our free E-Book on how to overcome stuttering, where we lay out the 10 major rules to becoming more fluent. Click HERE for a FREE copy.

Much love and happiness,

Stuart

2 minute read

Overcome Stuttering: the mind is everything

Thinking about stuttering

Twice a day I meditate, I love it. I use a meditation timer app, which from time to time also produces some cool quotes.

This morning it was this one:

“The mind is everything: what you think you become.”

It’s so true, it’s not even funny and it definitely applies to thinking about stuttering.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

What you think about, and also how you think about certain things, can either make or break the outcome.

It’s true that what you focus on is what you get.

Some people manage to hit a tree with their car, while there are no other trees to be seen at all. It’s because they focused on the tree and kept thinking they did not want to hit the tree.

But they did.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The same goes, for example, with having to read out loud in class. Day and night you keep thinking you will stutter and when the moment arrives, you stutter.

Not saying that at that moment the reason you stutter is because you were thinking about stuttering, but it is a significant part of it. As I said earlier, it can make or break the outcome.

What you think, you become.

Your thinking is fully focused on two things: I don’t want to stutter and I will stutter.

It’s a lot easier said than done but in order to overcome your stutter you have to change this thinking.

You have to change the way you see your stutter, you have to change the way you think about stuttering and also change the way you think about yourself.

You have to see stuttering for something that is very fixable and as just a small part of your life. You also have to fully trust yourself in being able to learn how to speak fluently, even if you already tried eight different therapies.

Think of all the possibilities

Negative thinking is easy: I can’t speak, I will always stutter, I am not ‘normal’, I don’t want to stutter.

It’s too easy. Positive thinking isn’t, it requires practice and few people are able to do it.

Think about the things you DO want: become more fluent, more confident. And when a negative thought does arise, say to yourself that you want positive thinking from now on.

Start thinking of all the possibilities in stead of all the difficulties.

But for now I would like to know how you feel about this subject. Do you think it could change things for you if you would start thinking more positive? Or maybe you already are practicing this and want to share your experiences. Feel free to do so in the comments below.

Talk soon.

Hille

P.S.

Download our free e-book on overcoming stuttering here!