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THE SELF-DECEPTION SERIES: “I CAN’T DO THIS.” (3 OF 3)

In this article series I will talk you through the three-part barrier you have to crush in order to reach your fluent potential and become your best self: self-deception. 

The first part of the series is about being honest to yourself. Click here if you haven’t read it yet. The second part of the series is about being courageous. Click here for the article. If you haven’t read both articles yet, I would advise you to do so before you move on with this third and last article.

The third and last step

Once you are honest to yourself that change is needed, have the courage to step up and get what you want, your mind is in the right place to realize that change.

The only thing that can stop you from becoming a fluent speaker is stopping before you tried. This third article of the series will tackle that last part of the self-deception barrier: keeping on and pushing through.

“I can’t do this.”

You want to become a fluent speaker, but can you do it? Ask yourself that question. Do you have the physical and mental means to overcome your stutter?

When answering that question, you’re probably thinking about what other people told you about overcoming your stutter. Chances are that you’ve been told that your stutter is only manageable and therefore you have to accept it as a part of you.

The obvious answer to being able to overcome your stutter would then be “No, I can’t do that.”

But let me ask you a question again. What is that thought based on? On other people’s stories or on your own experience? If you think you can’t do it, there are three possible reasons for coming to that conclusion. I will describe them one by one.

1. Stories from other people

People have been telling you that you can’t become a fluent speaker. Either because no one can or that you just don’t have it in you. If this is you, I only have one thing to say, which by the way also applies to many other situations: try it out yourself. The living proof of people who stutter being able to become fluent speakers has written the words of the article you’re reading right now. Don’t come to conclusions if you haven’t even tried yourself.

Sure, becoming 100% fluent might be difficult. But we at Broca Brothers are certain that you can become 95% fluent to the point that no one around you notices that you have a stutter.

Having crushed this negative belief that is spread around in the stuttering community, only one thing remains: doing the damn thing.

2. Trying without the necessary steps and commitment

There’s also the possibility that you have tried but didn’t get the results you wanted. Chances are that you didn’t follow the right steps or carry them out long enough, for example practising your speech at home for months but not practising it in the outside world or pushing yourself to talk to strangers but only doing it for a week. If this is you, you have to try harder and be smarter. Do the things that are required and keep doing them for multiple months.

3. Trying with the necessary steps and commitment

You’ve done everything that is needed to be done and you didn’t become more fluent. Sorry, but unless you stutter because of a head injury or the like, you’re lying to yourself and you are the perfect example of someone who needs to crush the self-deception barrier.

Slow and steady wins the race

The point of this article is that after you have decided on your needs for change, I want you to get out there and act on those needs, without the limiting beliefs that other people put in your head.

If you fail to overcome your stutter, it’s because you don’t take right action for the right amount of time. Not because you can’t do it.

Because big results don’t come quick. Realize that before giving up. One of our favourite sayings at Broca Brothers is “Everything that’s worth getting does not come easy.”. Do you want to achieve something? Then you have to work for it.

Whether you want to become a fluent speaker, graduate from your studies or get a fit and healthy body, time and effort has to be put in. There are no shortcuts.

Crushing your stutter doesn’t happen overnight. There might be some changes in speech after a couple of weeks or even days, but to mold those changes into a strong and lasting habit of fluent speech, multiple months of work are needed.

Not for everyone

Some people just can’t seem to do it. They don’t have the willpower and discipline to get what they want and do what is necessary. And that’s just fine. It’s not for everyone. Not everyone is able to keep going despite the hard and difficult moments.

But if you’ve been following us for some time and reading this article, I’m sure you are. You’re at the right place to overcome your stutter.

The only thing that can stop you now is saying that you can’t do it.

Try before you die

I want you to try to become a fluent speaker. But I want you to try with purpose. Try with dedication. I want you to try with the faith that change will occur if you put in time and effort.

You know you need it, you know you want it and now you know you can do it. You’re honest. You’re courageous. You’re dedicated. The self-deception barrier is crushed. There’s no stopping you. Go out there and grab that life full of fluency and expressiveness.

Have fun crushing it,

Sjoerd

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