16 minute watch

Just Ask The Broca Brothers | Episode #5

 

Have questions about stuttering? Just Ask The Broca Brothers!

This weeks episode is about how to make friends, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and sharing your stutter with your classmates.

Make sure you don’t miss anything by subscribing to our channel here!

16 minuten

Just Ask The Broca Brothers | Aflevering #5

HEB JIJ VRAGEN OVER STOTTEREN?

In Just Ask The Broca Brothers beantwoorden wij vragen over stotteren van onze kijkers. Wij doen dit vanuit de kennis die wij opgedaan hebben door het volgen van logopedie, stottertherapie, universitaire Psychologie studie en 4 jaar lang obsessief onderzoek en werken aan onze eigen stotter. Als jij vragen hebt over stotteren, stuur ons dan een e-mail of laat een berichtje achter.

In deze aflevering beantwoorden we vragen over:

  • Hoe je vrienden maakt ondanks je stotteren.
  • Cognitieve Gedragstherapie, is het zinvol?
  • En hoe deel je je stotteren met klasgenoten (en anderen)?

Heb jij ook een vraag over stotteren? Email ons! Of laat een berichtje achter.

  • 1. Jouw huidige spreken

  • 1 = heel slecht, 10 = uitstekend
  • Denk aan blokkades, herhalen van woorden, spiertrekkingen en/of andere tics
  • 2. Begin van stotteren

  • Achtergrond

  • Belangrijke gebeurtenissen

    Wees volkomen eerlijk. Ook over dingen die gebeurd zijn in het verleden. Deze informatie wordt vertrouwelijk behandeld en is alleen voor onze ogen.
  • Coaching

    Vragen om de coaching zo persoonlijk en effectief mogelijk te maken.
  • Algemene opmerkingen

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

 

2 minuten leestijd

Tackle je stotteren: meer zelfvertrouwen in 2 stappen.

Voor alle mensen die stotteren is het belangrijk om zelfvertrouwen te winnen als ze vloeiend willen leren spreken.

Maar hoe krijg je meer zelfvertrouwen? Ik neem je mee door twee mogelijkheden die je zou kunnen gebruiken.

Gedraag je alsof je al vol zelfvertrouwen zit.

Neem een persoon in gedachten waarvan jij vindt dat die zelfvertrouwen uitstraalt. Bestudeer die persoon eens, en vraag jezelf de volgende dingen af:

Wat is zijn lichaamstaal? Staat hij rechtop? Heeft hij een relaxte houding? Is hij op zijn gemak? Waar staan zijn voeten?

Hoe is zijn oogcontact? Hoe ademt deze persoon? Hoe loopt hij? En natuurlijk, hoe praat hij? Snel, of neemt hij zijn tijd?

Ga goed opzoek naar de antwoorden, leef je in en doe deze persoon na. Kopieer zijn of haar gedrag en je zult merken dat je je ook daadwerkelijk anders gaat voelen. Als je van je stotteren af wil komen is dit zeker geen rare oefening om af en toe eens te doen, het zal wat raar aanvoelen in het begin maar dat is omdat je het niet gewend bent. Dat komt wel.

Doe wat jij wil doen.

Doen alsof kan je zelfvertrouwen een enorme kick start geven. Het gedrag van een persoon met zelfvertrouwen zal steeds normaler voor je worden, maar het is niet genoeg om dat échte zelfvertrouwen te krijgen en vast te houden.

Dat échte zelfvertrouwen, dat ontwikkel je door te doen wat jij wil doen. In het Engels is dat: acting through your own intentions. Je doet wat juist is voor jou.

Erg belangrijk hier is dat je doelen opstelt voor jezelf. Wat wil jij over een jaar hebben bereikt? Dit mag over je spreken gaan, maar ook andere doelen natuurlijk: financiën, gezondheid? Zodra je die doelen hebt opgesteld ga je elke dag één stap nemen in de richting van één van je doelen.

Zodra je dit consistent doet ontstaat er iets heel moois, want elke keer dat je een stap neemt in de richting van jouw doelen zeg jij als het ware tegen jezef: ik doe dit voor mij, ik vind mijzelf belangrijk genoeg om aan mezelf te werken, ik word een mooier, sterker en zekerder persoon.

Nog mooier wordt het zodra je geen zin hebt om die stappen te nemen, hier kun je bonuspunten verzamelen voor je zelfvertrouwen. Zodra jij doorzet, en juist datgene doet wat je moet doen terwijl je er geen zin in hebt, score je dubbel zo hard. Je hebt geen zin, je doet het toch en daarna zul je ontzettend blij zijn met de keuze om het toch door te zetten.

Elke keer als je iets gaat ondernemen, vraag jezelf dan af of het in de richting van jouw doelen is. Het ‘probleem’ is dat we ons te veel laten afleiden door wat anderen vinden, denken of zeggen. Zodra jij doet wat jij wil doen zul je keihard vooruit gaan.

Je ontwikkelt zelfvertrouwen, je ontwikkelt focus, duidelijkheid in wat jij wel en niet wil en dat reflecteert allemaal op je spreken. Je gaat beter, makkelijker, duidelijker en vloeiender spreken. Het is een mooi proces.

Hier is een goede (Engelse) video van ons over dit onderwerp. Bekijk hem eens en zet ‘m op!

Hille

P.S.

Vrijdag 14 oktober a.s. organiseren wij in Utrecht een Broca Brothers Bootcamp. We gaan een hele dag erg mooie dingen doen waar jij vooral veel doorbraken en ontdekkingen gaat meemaken. Email ons gerust als je dat wat lijkt, dan zetten we je op de lijst en laten we het jou als eerste weten zodra we het officieel maken. info@brocabrothers.com

4 minute read

Stuttering: An internal conflict

As you may or may not know, I’m currently studying for my master’s degree in psychology at the university of Groningen. I’m writing my thesis about stuttering and how it’s linked to self-esteem. During my extensive search for literature, I found multiple interesting articles and theories that contain a lot of value for people who are looking to overcome their stutter.

In this article I will share a psychological theory about stuttering, that describes stuttering as “the conflict between drives to speak and to avoid speaking.”

An internal conflict

To be more precise, Sheehan (1970) described stuttering as the following: “In his psychological theory of stuttering, Sheehan described people who stutter as experiencing a role conflict related to communication. He indicated that the person who stutters is caught in a conflict between drives to speak and to avoid speaking. Stuttering occurs when this conflict between speaking and not speaking occurs.”

In simpler terms, stuttering happens because on one side you want to speak, but there’s also a part of you that doesn’t want you to speak. The result is that the part that wants you to speak makes you speak, but the part that doesn’t want you to speak will try to stop you, which leads to blocks and repetitions, also known as stuttering.

Beyond the superficial

This theory of stuttering is a source of a lot of value on overcoming stuttering, depending on the way you look at it. It goes past the superficial issues of speech techniques, breathing and muscle movements. It tackles the deep concepts that need to be targeted in order to achieve lasting fluency.

The way we, at Broca Brothers, interpret this theory is that to overcome your stutter, you have to get rid of the part that doesn’t want you to speak. What will remain is the part that does want you to speak, and fluency will prevail.

Understanding the naysayers

To get rid of the part that doesn’t want us to speak, we have to understand where it’s coming from. We have to understand its motives. Why is there a part of us that doesn’t want us to express ourselves?

Because of the negative feedback we received when we did express ourselves. When we did decide to speak up. When we did decide to come up with an idea, ask a question or crack a joke.

From the moment we start to stutter, we can either react positively or negatively to our stutter. Since many people who stutter start to stutter when they’re a child, the way we react to our stutter is largely dependent on how our surroundings react to our stutter. How your parents, teachers and other close ones react to your stutter will determine its severity later in life.

If the environment you live in reacts positively to your stutter and doesn’t make a big deal out of it, you’re likely to outgrow your stutter. But when the people around you respond negatively, you’re likely to develop a chronic stutter.

You’re sent to speech therapy and you might get bullied because of the way you speak. Some people are trying to fix you, while other people are laughing at you.

Whatever way it happens, you get the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. You develop the core belief that stuttering is not OK, that stuttering is not “normal” and that it should be avoided. Because hey, stuttering leads to people calling you names, giving you weird faces and laughing at you. Negative emotions galore. Who wants that, right?

How to avoid those negative emotions? Avoid stuttering. How to avoid stuttering? Avoid speaking. This creates a downward spiral of negative beliefs, negative emotions and avoidance behavior that reinforce your negative beliefs. The longer the cycle goes on, the bigger and stronger the pattern becomes. And that’s when there’s a whole part of you that doesn’t want you to speak. A mechanism consisting of negative thoughts, emotions and behavior that will do everything in its power to stop you from speaking.

Crushing the naysayers

The part that doesn’t want us to speak is thus the result of the negative core beliefs we developed during the years we started to stutter. And to change and get rid of negative beliefs is to prove them wrong. Show yourself that you have been believing in false truths all along.

The negative belief of stuttering not being OK is simply targeted by stuttering. This belief often leads to covert stuttering, which is countered by being open about your stutter and stuttering whenever you feel a stutter coming up. They might be scary things to do, but soon you will realize that most people do not care about your stutter as much as you think they do. Everyone is busy with themselves.

Next to destroying the old beliefs we have, we have to install new beliefs. “I’m able to speak fluent.” and “It’s OK if I stutter.” are among the most important ones. But just thinking about them once or twice is not enough to make you really believe them.

Just as proving negative beliefs to be false, you have to prove positive beliefs to be true. Prove to yourself that there is a fluent speaker inside of you. Talk to yourself. Talk to your pets. Read out loud. Envision yourself being fluent. Get up each morning and say to yourself that you are able to speak fluent, looking back at the moments from the day before that you were fluent. Enter the conversation with a smile, knowing that it will be fine either way, fluent or not. Stop pressuring yourself into being fluent, instead focus on becoming fluent.

If you want to learn more about becoming a fluent speaker, you might want to start with our free 10 step program to Kick Start Your Fluency here.

Till next time,

Stuart

Leestijd 1 minuut

Stotteren is situationeel, vloeiend spreken kun je al!

Situationeel stotteren: in de ene situatie gaat het stukken beter met het spreken dan in een andere. Dat komt bijvoorbeeld omdat de ene situatie spannender is dan de ander, denk aan een presentatie of de druk die er komt kijken wanneer je jezelf voor moet stellen. Wij stotterden altijd op onze naam, waarom? Omdat de vervelende ervaringen zich door de jaren hadden opgestapeld. En dat maakt situationeel stotteren.

Door het verleden heen hebben we het een en ander meegemaakt waardoor we op dit moment situaties als spannend of gevaarlijk bestempelen. Dan denken we: ‘hier moeten we echt niet stotteren’, of ‘hier moet ik echt mijn best doen om vloeiend te spreken’. Natuurlijk werkt dat averechts.

Het goede nieuws is dat als het in de ene situatie kan, het ook in de andere situatie moet kunnen. Daarom zeggen wij ook: het vloeiende spreken heb je al, het komt er alleen nog niet altijd even goed uit. Gelukkig valt daar aan te werken! Door te ontspannen, op de juiste manier leren ademhalen en waar nodig wat emotionele of psychologische blokkades op te heffen – zodat het spreken weer kan stromen. Het heet niet voor niets vloeiend spreken.

Hille

 

17 minute watch

Just Ask The Broca Brothers | Episode #4

 

Have questions about stuttering? Just Ask The Broca Brothers!

This weeks episode is about situational stuttering, people who stutter looking young and what should be inside the stutterer’s mind.

Make sure you don’t miss anything by subscribing to our channel here!

 

2 minute read

Fill your ‘positivity cup’ and start overcoming your stutter.

Let’s get real, you have to love yourself enough to say “NO” when people are negative, making fun of you or whatever may hold you back, down or hurts you and your process. Here’s how to break out of negative, self-destructive patterns to feeling empowered to overcome your stutter.

Feel empowered to overcome your stutter.

We talk a lot about ‘the process’ these days and we’re getting questions on how to go from a negative to a positive mindset, so one can finally make that stand against stuttering and do so succesfully.

The thing is that your brain may very well be full of negative thinking, self-pity and having a general lack of self-esteem.

How to break out of the negative stutter patterns.

If you want to break out of this self-destructing pattern, you have to first say “NO” to any form of negativity. It’s not allowed anymore. After that you start ‘tickling’ your brain. Tickle it with positivity and motivation. You can do this by looking up inspiring people on the Internet. This actually, is exactly how we started out. We watched and listened to videos and recordings of Elliott Hulse, Tony Robbins and the likes for HOURS.

When you do, it fills your ‘positivity cup’, while the negative one dries up. You absorb these people their positive outlook on handling struggles, hardship, depression, low self-esteem, and all that. This is exactly what you want to be doing when you can’t break out of the negative patterns by yourself.

When we write a blog, or shoot a video, we want to be informative of course, but first and foremost we’re aiming for filling your cup by showing you the possibilities and with words of encouragement.

Gather evidence for becoming a fluent speaker.

We KNOW you are able to change your speech around. It’s just that you have to start seeing that too. You need evidence, if you struggle to gather that evidence by yourself go look for others who have it and take some of them. If you’ve gathered enough evidence, you’re ready for the next step.

Maybe you should try our free program Kick Start Your Fluency. It’s actually designed so you can gather that evidence, with a little bit of help from us. Check it out here.

Is getting yourself from a negative perspective to a postive one also something you struggle with? Let us know in the comments! And we’d love it if you shared this on Facebook.

Thank you. Let’s talk soon.

Hille

3 minute read

To stop stuttering, here’s what has to happen.

Thursday I was live coaching another group of people who stutter. I do have to say that this is THE reason why we started Broca Brothers, no greater feeling than helping someone out when you know exactly what he or she is going through.

While we we’re going through the workshop something became very obvious and this can be a great lesson for you as well: everybody is on his own path. It’s easy to compare yourself with others and then to examine whether the other is either doing better or doing worse than you.

Stuart even made a Simple Stutter Tip about it yesterday, and he told the truth: only compare yourself to yourself.

Let’s call it: respecting the process.

You have to respect the process.

The process is an entity on its own, it does not listen to anybody and it especially doesn’t speed up or slow down when someone asks for it. The process is the process, it is going to do its own thing and you have to respect that.

Let me explain: we often talk about the key to overcoming stuttering is taking responsibility for your own situation. And that’s true, but before you will take responsibility something else has to happen, and that is the buildup of frustration.

Frustration.

Yes, frustration. You have to be very, very, very frustrated before you will change your situation around. You might think: “well, I’m already very frustrated with my situation.” That might be so, but let me tell you, if you’re still really struggling with stuttering you have not been frustrated enough. You have to hit rock bottom. You have to crash and burn. You have to encounter your own limitations. You have to go through the darkness before you reach the light.

It’s sad to say, but most people will only make significant changes in their lives when something really bad happens to them: near death experience, or Doc telling them they have only 3 months to live. For most people it’s only then that they decide to do what their heart tells them to do, the voice in their head shuts down and they start following their intuition. I don’t want you to have near death experiences, nor do I want your doc telling you those stories, but you get my point. People will only change their ways when there’s nothing left to lose.

If you know my story: bullied as a kid, lot of negative experiences with stuttering and other people, not saying anything in highschool, quitting college, huge relapse after therapy and struggling with that for years, until one day I woke up and I said to myself that stuttering was going to end right there. Some people believe that this is how we got rid of our stutter, it isn’t, it was just the beginning of crushing our stutter. Frustration had built up, and at that point where the pressure was too high, everything exploded and I hit rock bottom, I was in my darkest place at that time. I became aware of this darkness and immediately it turned into light, because I knew there’s only one way and that’s UP. This is what has to happen to you before you will start working on your speech and make sure you stop stuttering.

You are on your own journey.

Not everybody is ready for that change. You might not be ready to walk up to strangers to talk to them when others are. Some people who stutter have the courage to speak to the crowd in a cinema, others don’t. You just might not be ready to do whatever is necessary to succeed.

We are all looking to move towards feeling good and away from feeling bad, aren’t we? In that sense we’re all on the same path, yet you are somewhere else on this journey compared to someone else. That’s why comparing yourself is not going to help you at all.

To overcome any difficult situation what we first have to overcome is our own insecurity. And that will only happen when the frustration overrules insecurity, not any sooner. You might try speech therapy, but it will be ‘trying’, not ‘doing’. Listen to Yoda, he’s like Stuart, telling the truth.

Anyway.

I want you to catch Stuart’s and my drift. Don’t ever compare yourself to others. You have to respect your own process, the process that is happening right now without your consent. The only thing you can do is make sure you keep moving forward, becoming more and more aware of the possibilities for you and your speech. Reading blogs like this, watching videos, thinking about it, talking about it, reading books, those are things that are going to benefit your process.

You’re ready when you’re ready. Respect YOUR process.

Hille

 

15 minute watch

Just Ask The Broca Brothers | Episode #2

 

Have questions about stuttering? Just Ask The Broca Brothers!

This week it’s all about: stuttering when asking someone a question, how to go about presentations and how to stop overthinking.

Don´t miss one episode by subscribing to the Broca Brothers channel right here!